how to live.

Just returned from Gulu, where I spent the past four or five days. It was incredible being in that place, walking through the IDP camps, shaking hands with the ones who are changing so many people's lives.

But so much is coming to mind, so much that must be addressed. About life, how to live, where to live, implications of lifestyle and poverty .. so much just begs to be brought to the forefront of my mind. It's everywhere I look.

I can't write more on that just yet .. so much has to be thought over. And honestly, so much will probably never really be resolved. Life just pulls at me, tugs at me, to look at it differently.

How do you live - how do I live - knowing this?

[how then shall i live?]
k.

Atye maber.

Apwoyo larema! Atye maber.

Greetings to you all from Uganda. I have now been here about two weeks, which is unbelievable to me. It seems like I have just arrived, but also that I have been here for a lifetime already.

The first weekend I was here in Africa, my friends and I took the overnight bus to Kigali, Rwanda, to visit some dear friends who run an organization called Keza. It was incredible to not only spend some time with the, but so good to see what they and their organization is doing with some amazing women. I definitely encourage you to check out their website (www.keza.org). Keep checking back if it is not up yet.

Since returning from Rwanda, we have all spent a lot of time at Acholi Quarters, which is where so many people from northern Uganda have fled to. It is a section right outside of the city, and is often described as an underserved IDP camp. This is where James is basing his business, Acholi Beads (www.acholibeads.com) out of. It has been an incredible blessing to meet the men and women he is working with, getting to know them and their beautiful children, and seeing the huge difference Acholi Beads is making in each of their lives. This was my first introdcution to the Acholi people while here in Uganda, and they have welcomed me and everyone else into their family as one of their own. If I had a choice, I would be spending all day, every day with these gorgeous people.

But James and I are beginning work on the children's book project. It was a little slow on the uptake, as honestly, everything takes just a little bit longer in Africa. Which is just the truth and something that is to be embraced. But within a matter of a couple of days of being here, more connections were made than I even dared hope for. Our network for this project keeps expanding, and I should just get used to being amazed as to God's provision and guiding through this. More and more people are being brought along and being run into that are interested in what we are doing as well as willing to help us out in any way possible. I could not be more grateful, and am really excited that this is beginning. We are having our first batch of stories being assigned next week, which is so exciting.

I have really enjoyed being in Kampala, more than I ever would have thought, and have been incredibly blessed to be surrounded by a group of people I just feel at home with. There are several different NGOs that are based out of Kampala, and somehow everyone involved with these are friends with each other. It has been both eye-opening and personally challenging to see the work that these people have dedicated their lives to, and makes me think alot about the implications of such fiery love as they are showing.

But as I have been enjoying Kampala, I am excited as I am to be heading up to Gulu in another day or so. James and I are going to be going up to introduce the idea of the children's book to several people up there. We will only be staying for a few days, but I am ready to get out of the city and see the place I have been dreaming of for so long now.

Besides James and I, we have been joined by his sister, Robin, and another amazing woman named Lanecia. Lanecia left last week to go back to the states, and Robin is leaving in just a couple of hours. It has been incredible to have them both here, and I am so sad to see Robin go. But the women and men at Acholi Quarters threw a farewell party for Robin today, which was an experience like none other. I cannot wait to have faster internet so I can load some pictures for everyone to see. Let's just say that there was much dancing, laughing, and rejoicing in the relationships that are formed in such a family.

On that note, I am realizing that this update is extremely long, so I think I will end it here. If you are one to pray, there are some things that I would ask of your attention. First of all, I have a dear friend in San Diego who is very, very sick. I just got word that he was taken to the ER because of complications with lupus and now his heart. If you want more details, please let me know and I can tell you more, but please just keep Will in your hearts and prayers. Also, if you could pray for continued connections being made and us following Love's guidance through this all. As well as health. James, Robin, and I have all been sick the past week, which is not unexpected, but still a hindrance to what we are trying to do.

Thank you, dear friends, and I hope this update is not too boring and finds you all well. I love and miss each one of you, and cannot wait to hear more about what is going on in your own lives.

peace and love,
kristin lorey.

breathing the smog.

Dearest Everyone,

So here I am, sitting in an internet cafe in the city of Kampala,
Uganda. Needless to say, I made it safely here, arriving Wednesday
morning, just in time to see the sun rise over Lake Victoria as we
were flying in. I stepped out into the Ugandan beauty, greeted by the
pale morning hues and the bright greens and reds of the earth here.

The journey here was nothing short of great, besides experiencing jet
lag and not really being able to sleep on the planes. But I was
blessed to have surprising and beautiful discussions with a man from
San Diego who was going to London (works right by the old IC office in
El Cajon), a man from South Africa who told me of his travels (and
kept telling me that I would soon be landing in and journeying through
the 'jungles of Uganda', which I have yet to find ...), a
light-hearted Polish woman who happens to be an avid fan of Sarah
Palin, and a man who has lived in Uganda for the past four years,
working with an incredible NGO called Cares. Besides those
conversations, I had the onboard movies and TV shows to entertain me,
including but not limited to Flight of the Conchords and The Office.

So here I am in Uganda. I have been in Kampala, which is the capital
city, for yesterday and today. This city is so interesting. I am
staying with my friend, Waverly, as well as my other friends who I am
working and traveling with. We have had a great couple of days,
including being entertained last night by a break-dancing session with
over 30 Ugandan youth, following by falling asleep to the pouring
Ugandan rain. It was incredible. So I am here for a few more hours,
going to Acholi quarters (which is where Acholi Beads are made ..
www.acholibeads.com ), and then my friends and I are going to be making
our way to Rwanda for the weekend. I am very excited to go there.

Just wanted to send a short update your way to let you know I am
alive. I love and miss you guys already, but I can feel the weight of
your prayers as they are sent my way. I thank you so much for those.

Hope you are all doing well, and I will write again when I can. In
the meantime, I don't mind hearing updates on your lives. :)

in Love,

kristin lorey.

onward.

It is 3:21 and I am still in San Diego.

My flights have been switched, and I will be waiting in the San Diego airport for close to 6 hours by the time I finally take off. San Diego to LA, LA to London, London to Uganda.

But it's ok. It gives me more time to soak up this fact: I am going to Uganda.

I remember the last time I was waiting at an airport like this. I was waiting, amongst the business men and women, sandy, dirty, and smelly from a trip through Neverland with my best of friends. Now, I am waiting amongst these same business men and women, but clean, hopefully not smelly, and headed to a different home.

Joel P West flows through my earphones, and I am reminded of all the times I have listened to his songs before. The times I have been in San Diego with Invisible Children, back at Northwestern, and especially the time on tour. This particular song, my dearest Suzi sang with him. And I remember her glowing as she had us listen to it the first time. Joel really does provide the soundtrack to life.

This adventure is so different. It is so surreal. I am going to Uganda. After three years of working with Invisible Children, I am going to set foot in this beautiful land in less than two days. I am going to be working toward a different sort of goal that I was with Invisible Children, but one that is just as important and equally as beautiful.

I go to Uganda alone. I travel with my backpack, book, and pictures of a life I have lived. I reflect on how I got here, and how I will be different when I set foot back in southern California. I don't know who I will be in six weeks' time. I am waiting, hoping, and praying for me to emerge and grow through this time.

So in less than two hours, I will finally - finally - be going. The past three weeks or so have been a whirlwind, but somehow I have felt peace through it all. I can't believe I am actually here .. the fear that has ruled my life for 22 years is finally subsiding, and I am breaking through to be here now. I am learning to trust .. because I have to trust that His timing is perfect, that He has a plan, and that I am going to be used.

So I thank you, dearest ones, for coming here. For reading this. For supporting me in whatever way you have. Because I don't say it enough, I am going to say it now: I love each one of you, so much. Whether we have traveled together in the past, laughed together at anything, have exchanged stories and hugs, or simply have found each other online, I cannot thank you enough for the impact you have had on my life. I will never, ever be the same because of you.

I keep listening to Joel. I let my cell phone die. I am relaxing my hold to this western world. And in a matter of hours, I will be on the other side of this world, doing who knows what. And all I am asking is to be used ..

I love you. So much. And I cannot wait to be reunited soon. My heart is with all you roadies out there .. blow the road a kiss for me and dance in the freedom it offers. And another part of my heart rests with my family in Iowa, my friends in California, Seattle, and the midwest.

onward in peace and hope, and of course, Love.
kristin.

p.s. if you have skype, please add me (kristin.lorey). Then we can chat. :)
p.p.s. if you ever get bored, I love updates. email me (kristin.lorey@gmail.com, or kristininthesky@gmail.com. Take your pick.)

what more than is there but love? love is everything. teach me to be love. make it all that i am.
[that's you, alex. thanks.]

55 hours.

55 hours from now, I will be boarding a plane. First to Chicago, then to London, and finally I will be purchasing a visa to get into Uganda.

Life is happening.

It is an odd stage to be at. People are finally finding out that I am going and they are curious as to the details. Let's be honest here .. so am I.

And then enters in the aspect of trust. I am learning to trust. Because my path is being uncovered only as I travel along it. It is grandiose and frankly quite beautiful, but the mystery of it is making me realize .. I have to trust.

I have been telling people for months that I feel as if I am on the edge of the next great stage of my life. My life has been so full, so so full. And I have been so blessed. But I have felt that the past couple of months have been a time of transition. Me being here in San Diego for some unseen reason. And now I am going to Uganda to work on a project I fully believe in, although I am only learning the details as I go.

Trust.

I have been so lacking in it. The time has come to own up to this shortcoming in my life. To face it head on and to trust that Love has a plan for me. That He is asking me to be patient, to rely on His wisdom, and to work hard and let Him work, as well. To realize that I wouldn't be going if He didn't have a reason for it.

37 hours. And I will fly across the Atlantic.

Thank you from the very core of me, to those who have supported me thus far. I could not have done it without your emotional, financial, and mostly your prayer support.

Life is happening.
here i come.
kristin.

'your life is an occasion .. rise to it.'

mortality.

Life is picking up speed. Yet again.

I laid tonight in the grass. The neighbor's cat came to greet me, and we spent time loving on one another. The trees gave me company as I got lost in my thoughts.

A week from now I will be in Uganda. A land I have dreamed of for years.
Two days from now, fifty of my new friends will be on the road. A life I love and whose challenges I miss. They will be engulfed in the beauty it offers.
Two days ago, my sister suffered. And I wasn't there to comfort her.

I am trying to grasp the responsibility and privileges of life. What it means to know something and to act on it. That choice determines not only what you believe, but who you are and who you are becoming.

I am realizing how easy it is for me to be good in the company of my friends. They are good. So so good. When they are engulfed in beauty, it catches on. And it's wonderful. But it makes me think of our origins .. would I be this me if I were living somewhere else?

And I am starting to feel again. I am realizing that a lot of times I block out emotion. I get lost in other people's stories. I try to forget myself so I don't have to deal. But I am getting attached to people again .. and they are leaving again. All the more reason for me to continue my cycle of arm's distance relationships. I am battling with myself .. trying to convince my heart to be vulnerable.

It's not that I lose faith in people. It's not that I desire so much to be loved. All do, but that isn't quite it.

It's that fear. That fear that I have let rule my life for all 22 years of it. People scare me, because once I let them in, there's no getting out of it. And if I open up and am ignored .. I shrink a little back into myself. It's happened all too often, in tiny, little ways. No one's fault, but I need to grow out of it.

I need to grow out of me.

I am hoping that the next few weeks will help me break into my stride of independency. International travel, taking on a huge, unknowing project, and standing up to greet who I am becoming. I think it will be good.

I am facing mortality. Realizing life is meant to be lived. And I am constantly rediscovering that I have no idea what that truly means.

Here is a favorite quote from Steinbeck that I find particularly relevant. It has been on my mind ever since I read it a couple of weeks ago.

"It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world.

We have only one story. All novels, all poetry, are built on the never-ending contest in ourselves of good and evil. And it occurs to me that evil must constantly respawn, while good, while virtue, is immortal. Vice has a new fresh young face, while virtue is venerable as nothing else in the world is."

Remember mortality. Let it bring life.

As a friend has put it, "What more than is there but love? Love is everything. Teach me to be love. Make it all that I am."

Jesus, world, friends ...
... teach me to be love. Make it all that I am.

I could go on writing forever .. my mind is reeling and I am afraid it will all come spilling over. Just in time to be filled with .. Africa.

[may i never be the same again.]
k.