tonight is what
bliss & peace
feel like.

the universe
slows
& turns
at my pace
for just this
once.

the assurance
of good intentions
& hopeful dreams
painted into
reality on
this canvas,

the beautiful colours --
not one, not two,
but three thousand
exploding into
radiant
landscapes &
sunsets of heartfelt
nature.

life is
sweet,
delicate to
the touch.

i'm holding
these moments with
careful joy &
cautious light.

tonight,
this symphony plays
for
us.

[whispering
thanks to
You.. ]

nothing like testing the heartstrings a little.

phew.  here we go.

well,

might as well announce it to the world. that will make it more real. and exciting.

so world.. i'm moving to los angeles.

fjka;fj;kdaj !!!!

my heart's ajumping at the thought of new adventures, new life, a new breath to fill my tired lungs.

a new era is about to begin, my loves. a new era indeed.

k.

no..

it hurts.

turns out i can't block goodbyes from affecting my heart.

even when i know my path is leading his way soon.

the end of an era is never easy to welcome.

even wearing teal instead of black..

i can't tell if my

heart hurts..

or if it's just..

... numb.

pinhole.

i'm not going to lie, sometimes i feel like life is unnecessarily tumultuous.

but i'm always proven wrong.

san diego seems to have change that is always whistling through the air. nothing here ever seems stable, and it's a fact that now i am starting to recognize, i need to run from.

at least for now.

my life has been nothing but unstable for the past ... forever. which i have embraced and played with. but i am beginning to think that this is the time to stay for a while. to learn how to breathe deeply and hold hands. because the relationships that i have formed here end too quickly for my heart to bare, and this next goodbye is one that has hit me the hardest in quite a while.

but with these goodbyes comes an end to an era. i know in my heart it is time for me to move from this spot. now comes the expected lesson in patience. because if i do hear the call as i think i do, now comes the wait on the follow through.

it's hard for me to describe exactly what place i am at my life right now, or exactly what i am feeling. i think that is why i find myself expressing my thoughts through tiny poems and outbursts of emotion. i keep getting the excited feeling that something huge is about to come my way, and that i will fit somewhere. for once. i'm just working on the peace and patience that i feel the need to have while i wait.

so much of these past couple of years has been focused on change and constant redefinition of myself that i have to wonder why this time it is so much harder, why it's harder for me to take. but i think i thought that this was it for a while. i think i thought that the stability and me that was brought out with that one, that was going to get me through. but i have to realize that this time, i'm on my own. that going alone into the universe will make me ... me. and that's what i need to be focused on at this point.

so here's to the next big step in the universe. a few weeks and i think i'll head north. with nothing but a little in the bank to back me this time. and a few phone numbers i can call with precious faces behind them.

that's all for now.

k.

everything is about to change..

.. again.

[butterflies..]