reimagining the world.

so this weekend marks two weeks that i have been back in california.

it's so weird .. i feel like i have been here for so, so long. maybe like i have never left from this summer. it's a new set of people, but the same nurturing environment, the same set of ideals. but i also feel as if i have just arrived, just set out on this new journey, opening up a new pathway in my life.

and i have no regrets. i cannot express how incredibly blessed i am to be out here right now.
i keep telling everyone that in the past two weeks i have been challenged, stretched, loved on, given hope, and laughed more than i have in perhaps the past two years. in so many ways. those things had happened within the first few days of being back. let's just say that living with 51 people is a bit challenging. knowing that i will be living like i am married to my team for the next four months makes you vulnerable. pushes you to be uncomfortable.

but that makes me alive.

i was thrust into a community that i thought i was ready for. but i was not. the first few days were me trying to be myself, but not knowing where i fit into this huge community. but then comes a retreat to the mountains, and finally being real and open and forced with my team and with others ... that made me comfortable as myself and helped me finally find a place. i think it did for all of us.

being open, being real, being vulnerable ... those are all challenges for me. but as i forced myself to be such, as my whole team did, we all got to know each other on such a different level. to know each other's pasts, family, beliefs ... made us know each other better in ways that some of my closest friends don't know me. it's just stuff that doesn't usually get brought up. or you get to know over a longer period of time, in much less forced settings.

so we return home, and it is finally home. i love my family here. so much. i love that i have such a big family. and such a family that makes me feel alive.

shane claiborne says this:
the truth is everyone in our culture has been deeply polluted by the noise and garbage of this world, and we all need to be washed clean. we need minds that are renewed and uncluttered so they are free to dream again.

i feel like i am in a place where we are encouraged and even forced to do that: to dream and to reimagine the world. invisible children is really shaking the world. shaking all of our worlds. forcing us to examine what is important in life. forcing all of us to examine our goals and the goals of the organization. forcing us to remember why we are here. and it's incredibly challenging. but amazing.

jason asked us all to write a mission statement of our lives, especially pertaining to this period of our lives. i resented it at first, as i thought i was through with homework. but then i warmed to the idea. then i forgot about it. then it was due. but as i wrote it, i had to really look at who i a, what my priorities are, what my hopes are for the future, and how i achieve my goals. if i even believe my goals will be met.

i definitely recommend you doing something like that. assess your goals. your life. what is important. write a mission statement. it will be good for you. i hope.

ok i feel like i could go on and on about what life is like here. but in short, it is amazing, a blessing, and above all, a challenge. a constant struggle between living for myself and living for others. a time to find out what sacrifice is. a time to embrace diversity and wide beliefs. a time for constant learning. a time for hard work. a time to cry with someone who is hurting. and most of all, a time to laugh, to love, and to be loved on. it's so beautiful. please, find yourself a community and be immersed in it. you will never regret that you did.

i love you all.
kristin.