it's a mix between slightly dramatic and almost comical.
it is here in uganda, as i am riding bodas from place to place, laughing and holding hands with these incredible people, that i am distracted by flashes of home. of all the former lives i have known.
i remember sleeping in a comfortable bed in iowa, laughing with friends at college, a fiery conversation with my father. i remember nights on the road, dangling my feet off piers in california, and the times i learned how to breathe and dance in freedom. the hugs that will never leave me.
but as i reflect on this more and more, it is almost a farewell. no, it is a farewell.
because i know when i get back, those things will never be enough for me anymore.
how do i live, now that i know this life? how do i balance the two extremes, holding them both so dear?
the world is opening up to me. gathering me in, using these beautiful people to distract me from a life i thought i was supposed to live. but as much as that nice apartment appeals to me, the clothes that might impress, that phone that i can convince myself is necessary .. that will never be enough.
i am changing. life is changing. the view from here just keeps getting more interesting and complex, with however simple life may be.
none of this really makes any sense, does it? it surely doesn't to me. life just looks very different here, and i am not sure how to merge this life with the life i have known, however conventional or unconventional it has already been.
just decided on four more weeks in uganda. still going to be struggling with these things for a while. which i think is good. really good.
love from the land of red mud and eyes that tell stories.
kristinelaine.
brian andreas (storypeople.com)
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