alice to the future.

ah, the final drive back from torrance to pasadena for 2009.

as the los angeles skyline crested into view just after midnight, i felt 2009 fade. and honestly, i'm ready for it.

2010 is coming, and i can feel the fresh new life just ebbing away at my consciousness. this has been a year of coming into my own. of recognizing that there are challenges where i used to see blessings, and blessings beneath those challenges and more. i have wandered through houses and cities, and tonight i realized that i have made a home here.

finally.

as my world willingly draws smaller and smaller, i am so grateful for the new arms and limbs of community. as my vagabond heart grows weary, i'm hanging up my running shoes, at least for now. a desire to be known, maybe even more so to know, has been tugging at my heart for months, and i'm finally giving in.

i'll move once more, to be closer to the people that want me to be there. to the friends that are by my side in an instance, even when they're across the globe. to the hearts that search for steady revolution, starting with searching for the truth.

so after a year of denial that the future is coming, i am itching for 2010 to begin. i hope for a year of honesty and a year of searching out truth in the world and in my own life. my heart knows it desires not only servanthood, but to be loved. and it is something i will challenge myself to let happen. to break down distances, to be known. and to know.

to live to always tell the truth. to welcome the future with blind but searching eyes, actively bringing the bright and new.

ah, 2010. i'm so ready for your presence. because, after all, the chase, the new love, is what this life is all about.