hello, sunshine.

day two in san diego.

i am currently sitting in my favorite coffee shop in the area, eating a delicious bowl of granola and fruit, sipping on a cup of coffee, and marveling at the fact that a man just walked in who looks like the spitting image of dave from 'flight of the conchords'. what a place.

so needless to say, chelsea and i made it out to san diego. we roadtripped out here, which turned out to look compeltely different than we expected (i told you so). i saw people who are incredibly dear to me, and saw them for longer than i had even dared to hope for. it refreshed me, but also makes me wish for their presence even now. all in all, the road trip was good, but i can honestly say i am glad to be out of a moving vehicle. for the first time in months.

coming out here was not an easy decision for me, and there were many, many times i doubted if this is where i am supposed to be. even to the point where while i was in northern california, i almost dropped it all and just stayed. it would have been simple. but i reached a point where i may have actually heard God whisper to me, you'll see, answering my question of as to why i am going to be in san diego.

while i was in iowa, all i could tell people about my plan is that i know - or i think i know - i am supposed to go back to san diego. to talk to these people about a community. and to search out what comes next.

i don't know why.

but i think ... i think something is moving. i have felt it for the past few months. that something is moving, waking up in this world. maybe it is just within my group of friends. the beautiful community that is being birthed by those who i have experienced invisible children with. the people back home that i can talk to about the breathtaking, haunting realization that there is something more than what we are living for right now.

to be honest, when i was back in iowa, i had to be very, very real with God. tell Him i had no idea what He was thinking, that i am going back to a place i don't necessarily want to go, and that i was not going to have the people around me that i wanted. specific people. and i came to the incredibly obvious realization that i was being asked to take the hard road. finally. but the 'ard road', i believe, is just a way of saying that i don't know what the future holds. it is a representation of what learning to trust looks like.

so while i had eight full days on the road to think, process, regret, hope, and be excited at the same time, i had less than 24 hours in san diego before i was challenged. before i had the conversation that i have been praying and hoping for ... for weeks. i was able to express that i am feeling the same way, hoping for the same things, asking the same questions. and i once again was part of the dreaming process. surrounded by people who are not afraid to look at the expected, laugh at it, and go beyond.

i know i have to be a part of it.

whatever the future holds, i am getting excited for the adventure. i am accepting that i may be in san diego for a while. i may be here for just a few weeks. but i am getting ready to experience what is coming next. not just experience it ... but to live it.

i am learning to love the people that are in my life. that it is ok to ache for someone that is not present, to wish for their part in the big thing that is taking place here. but to be grateful for who i have.

i must move. i cannot sit still.
it's going to be good.
and i can feel it.

also, i need to get a job.

so here's to day two in san diego. it's going to be an adventure, and i have no idea what it is going to look like.

but that's ok.

ohboy.
kristin.