almost too much.

Perhaps it is because my time here is slowly, yet paradoxically too rapidly, drawing to a close. I am experience a range of humanity and experience that I have never been a part of before. It is not unusual that in a day I have so much anger I could burst, frustration at the people caught in a dysfunctional system, the feeling I could start sobbing at any moment. But then there is something beautiful that happens. The name "mzungu", which is so often an insult or something to laugh at or take advantage of, is used by a child with a smile that could win the whole world, hugging my knees, unknowing of my life, plan, heart, anything. A boda driver gives me a fair price without me begging. There is any small affirmation for why I am here.

In a place like Uganda, it is too easy to be lost in both fear and frustration. So much is different in a place like this, it can be difficult to see the beauty in the bold unfamiliarity. But at times, it can be too easy to see the beautiful and not see the brokenness. Both of which are dangerous.

But it is here tht the discovery of the complexity of life begins. So much can be thought to be discovered in America. Though, it is in the raw reality of Africa, where one can see the obvious effects of war, poverty, and complacency, it is as if the light finally illuminates the obvious.

Humanity is broken. But somehow redeemable.

For every misgiving, there is a kind word waiting to be spoken. For every "baby girl" and kissing noises received, there is a man waiting to help you on your way. For every cripple seen scraping along the busy roadside, there is a boy in the hospital, healing because of someone's mercy and love.

Coming back to America will not be easy. There will be a constant remember of the life that is led here. And not just the life that I have lived here. The life of relative comfort and ease that I have been a part of. But the life of begging, prostitution, even the life of bead-making, all to earn a meager living. Both the joy and pain that lies in this form of simplicity, and the hope that is so often extinguished because of poverty and routine.

There is no easy answer here. To any question. And that is what makes living here and leaving here difficult. Because I want to end the cycle of poverty. I want those children to leave the streets. I want the corruption to end, the bribery and thoughts of supreme superiority.

But redemption takes time. And it takes hard work. And it takes the humbling of oneself and realizing that equality is much more complicated than it has been explained to you. And so much more than that, it takes tings that we are constantly discovering. But it is something that is worth working for. And though the answers seem hidden, even sometimes nonexistent, there must be hope in the Love that was offered for this world. And continues to be offered daily. Wisdom must be out there.

Questions need to be asked. To never stop. But comfort also needs to be found in friends, in hope ...

... in Love.